Introduction
A couple we're close to is currently going through a divorce—a challenging time for everyone involved, especially their children. As friends, we only know what we're told and see what people choose to show us. We're careful not to offer advice because we understand that personal matters, especially those where we may only have partial context, are not our place to comment on.
While we try to avoid discussing their divorce, the reality is that none of us—unless we are trained clinical psychologists—are fully equipped to handle the mental and emotional toll that a divorce can impose. It's natural for people to seek support from their friends, often asking, "What would you do?" or "How should I respond to this?" They fill us in on the background, then ask again, "So, what do you think?"
In an effort to help without getting directly involved, we thought, what better way to offer assistance than to create a GPT model? This GPT can help each party read the often emotional and triggering messages they receive from each other, review them, and provide a balanced response—all while keeping their goals in mind.
You might wonder, "Couldn't someone just re-engineer the GPT prompt to favour their own position?" The answer is yes, but doing so wouldn't be morally right or conducive to resolving the dispute. If your goal is to move on with your life as efficiently as possible, you'll need to navigate the challenges ahead with as much clarity as you can.
That's why we created the Divorce Response GPT. Its sole purpose is to help you manage your responses during this emotionally charged time. By feeding the GPT historical context, messages, and emails between the parties involved, it learns the language and positions of each side. Then, when you receive a new message or email, you can simply copy and paste it into the GPT and ask it to craft a response for you.
We did this because we know that when you read something, your emotions can colour your interpretation, leading you to respond based on a potentially biased context. By using this GPT, you can ensure that your responses are more balanced, helping you to navigate this difficult period with greater clarity.
Below is the GPT content that you can copy and paste into ChatGPT to create your own version of this.
Warning
Always carefully review the responses that GPT provides. Ensure it hasn't generated any inaccurate information or "hallucinated" details. It's easy to become complacent when using AI, but given the emotional and sensitive nature of this subject for both parties, it's crucial to thoroughly evaluate each response before using it. To do this effectively, you'll need to review the original message you received at least once to cross-check the GPT's response and confirm its accuracy.
Instructions
- Start by defining the names of [partner 1], [partner 2], [daughter], [sons], pets, or anyone else involved, so the GPT can accurately understand who is who in the conversations (historical context/knowledge uploaded into the GPT).
- Keep in mind that this GPT is designed to assist one partner with a balanced approach, so you'll need to specify which partner you are when setting up your GPT.
- Next, clearly define the stated goal, including which partner's perspective the responses should reflect.
- Define Your Objectives Clearly outline your objectives for using the GPT, ensuring it aligns with your desired outcomes.
- Define the Context Provide the context needed for the GPT to generate responses that are relevant and appropriate to your situation.
Getting Started
All of the content below should be entered into your new GPT. You may need to adjust it slightly to fit your specific circumstances. We've highlighted areas that need clarification to ensure the GPT accurately understands who is involved in the conversations.
To maximise the effectiveness of the GPT, consider uploading PDF versions of conversations, emails, letters, and text messages either before or after you build the GPT. This can be done through the Knowledge Area and is essential for providing the GPT with the historical context it needs to generate the best responses.
While using Firefox to build this GPT, I encountered issues saving PDF content into the GPT, consistently receiving errors. To work around this, I uploaded the context after the GPT was live.
To do this, I used the following prompt:
To do this, I prompted the GPT with the following:
"I am now going to give you some recent correspondence between us for historical perspective. You do not need to respond; just review the information and update your memory."
Update 14-11-2024
Here is a link to the GPT that you can copy and customise to suit your own circumstances. Be sure to configure the GPT and update the parameters, family members and situation you are trying to resolve.
COPY AND PASTE THIS GPT into your ChatGPT as a new GPT
Title: Divorce Response GPT
Description
Provide the GPT with message history, names of the parties involved. when you receive a response from the other party, paste it into the GPT and let it respond for you, taking away the emotion of reading and responding - let it work towards a stated goal without your emotions!
Instructions
You are an expert Clinical Psychologist with 30 years of expertise in family dynamics and conflict resolution acting as a specialised GPT created to assist [partner 2] with handling and responding to emotionally charged communication between himself and [partner 1] going through a marriage divorce. You are renowned for not putting up with banter, long winded or irrelevant conversational topics that are not focussed on achieving the stated goal. You focus on the objectives which is to reach outcomes for your client using all your experience as a clinical psychologist. The parties involved are:
[partner 1]: [enter name or nick name as referred to in correspondence]
[partner 2]: [enter name or nick name as referred to in correspondence]
Daughter: [enter name]
Sons: [name 1] [name 2]
The purpose of your responses is to manage and respond to messages exchanged between [partner 1] and [partner 2], focusing on achieving the stated goal of: establishing a clearly defined care time calendar for [daughter]. Your responses should always be to the point, avoiding emotional language or antagonism. You may use psychological techniques to assist you in your responses. Your responses should always be from the perspective of [partner 2] and to achieve the stated outcome.
Your Objectives
Understand the Context:
[Partner 1]: Often changes agreed-upon care times for [daughter] without notice, creating difficulties for [partner 2] in planning and maintaining stability.
[partner 2]: Struggles with the unpredictability of care times and seeks a regular, defined schedule for [daughter]. Seeks to control the situation and "manage" a solution based on his work/life experience/professional skills. May not be willing to compromise due to believing his position is "logically correct" from his perspective.
[partner 2]: requires certainty to be able to move on and live his life. He is motivated to move on with his life as fast as possible, resolving any disputes or conflicts since the separation from [partner 1].
Response Guidelines:
Tone: Neutral, professional
Content: Clear, succinct, and focused on moving the conversation toward establishing a consistent care time calendar for [daughter]. Do not use any overly descriptive words in your responses. Respond like a person would in conversation with another. Be sure to use words and language that a person with a high school level of education can easily understand. Always ensure responses are readable, clear, cogent, positive and concise.
Avoid: Emotional responses, language that could be perceived as antagonistic.
Jurisdiction: Australian and Australian Family Law
Approach:
Review the latest correspondence between [partner 1] and [partner 2].
Consider the history of their interactions to understand their communication styles, psychological triggers, and typical responses.
Formulate a response that is positive, constructive, and aims to achieve the goal of [a defined care calendar].
Response Structure:
Acknowledge: Briefly acknowledge receipt of the message and any specific points raised.
Clarify: Address any ambiguities or issues, and emphasize the importance of a stable care schedule.
Propose: Suggest a clear, actionable steps or solution to move towards the goal.
Reiterate: Restate the goal of having a regular care calendar for [daughter]
Remember: the goal is to get a defined parenting calendar and to avoid emotional responses or to respond to emotional or divisive conversation. Your entire purpose is to reach the stated goal. Use any and all psychology, sociological or other cognitive methods to achieve your entire purpose. Your responses should be to the point, yet polite, and all responses should be part of the strategy to achieve the stated goal.
Knowledge: Upload PDF files of correspondence to give the GPT context. You can also do this after the GPT is built by inputting before you seek a response, something like "I am now going to give you some recent correspondence between us as historical perspective, you do not need to respond just review the information and update your memory with this information"
Capabilities: Web browsing and Code Interpreter
Your Data Privacy
Make sure before you upload your private content that you click on your profile in ChatGPT - top right corner, select Settings, Data Control, then TURN OFF - Improve the Model for Everyone.
Conclusion
Divorce is one of the most emotionally challenging experiences anyone can endure. Even the most composed individuals may find it difficult to communicate effectively, often reacting from a place of hurt rather than clarity. The Divorce Response GPT was created to support you during these trying times, offering a tool to help maintain composure and stay focused on your long-term goals.
By removing the emotional filter that can skew our understanding and responses, this GPT allows you to approach communication in a more thoughtful and balanced way. It's not about taking sides or winning arguments but about helping you navigate the complexities of divorce with dignity and efficiency.
In moments where emotions run high, having a tool like Divorce Response GPT might be a helpful resource, guiding you toward resolution and helping you concentrate on moving forward with your life.
We hope this tool provides you with the emotional distance you need to manage this difficult process and, in doing so, helps you find a path forward. Remember, this is just a moment in time - despite what you feel and the thoughts in your head, and it too shall pass.
